Sunday, September 19, 2010

My friend Vanessa

This last week I was in Houston, Tx visiting a good friend, Vanessa. She is enduring cancer for her 7th, and last time. Initially I had planned the trip out to visit her and spend some fun time hanging out and going to Sea World with her family and another friend. Everything changed last Monday when she was admitted to M.D. Anderson Hospital after they found more tumors pressing on her spine. I arrived in San Antonio making up my schedule as I drove-- quite literally. Instead of Austin I was now headed to Houston. Luckily I have an amazing friend, Sarah, in Houston who I could call in such a moment. She is also friends with Vanessa and generously agreed to not only let me be her unexpected house guest, but watched Samuel every day for several hours so I could be in the hospital with Vanessa. So I spent Friday-Monday zipping back and forth from Sarah's to the hospital, and helping as much as I could

I worked with her daughter Angelica years ago in the Austin ward. Angelica became like a family member since we got to spend so much time together. Her mom had to do 60 days of radiation and chemotherapy during Angelica's high school years and she stayed with us while Vanessa was in Houston receiving treatment. I didn't get a lot of time with her, but I sure loved getting to see Angelica and hang out with her a bit.

Vanessa and I became close about 5 years ago when she was diagnosed with cancer for her 5th time in her life. I was working with Angelica in Young Women's and became aware of her situation that way. Vanessa has retinablastoma, a form of cancer that is genetic, and starts in the eye. When she was a child they saved her life by removing her eyes, so from the time she was 8 she was blind, and in foster care due to the untimely death of her mother. Vanessa's sinus cancer coincided with one of the most difficult times of our infertility. It helped strengthen me to see how cheerful and persistent she was in her trials, and made me find the good things in my life more readily.

By the end of the trip Vanessa was back home, and my time was over. I don't think I really had time to grieve, and it is unclear how long she has left. It was strange to say goodbye, not knowing if I would see her again in this life. One thing I do know is that it will be a joyful reunion on the other side when I can see her restored to health, and she can see again with perfect eyes.

6 comments:

Emily said...

What an amazing woman. They seem like such a sweet, enduring family. It really is humbling to see how people use their suffering to become better people. Thanks for those great thoughts.

John Hedengren said...

My favorite memory with Vanessa is playing chess with her in our Houston home. In order to make things fair, I was blind-folded. I discovered that it is quite difficult to remember where all the pieces (mine and hers) were on the board. We had a great time together and consider Vanessa a dear friend.

Linda said...

What a sweet brave woman Vanessa is. I am glad you had the chance to see her and be with her. Where did Samuel get those big legs??

Angela Draper said...

I am so glad that you were able to go visit Vanessa and that you have wonderful friends who could help you amid the changes. I am also very sure that Vanessa is very thankful for a friend like you.

Corrine said...

so glad you were able to go spend some time with her. what a great friendship y'all have!

Susan said...

I remember being impressed with Vanessa when we were visiting you in TX and we all went with you when Brian was taking her the sacrament one Sunday (as I recall it...)