Brian here. When I was young, I would often hear my mom offer the following prayer:
God, give me patience. And I need it now.
I can't imagine why. I was such a quiet kid. Docile, reserved, introverted, mellow. Must have been the dog. Pepper was a real fireball.
Well, all this waiting for the baby is driving Janine nuts. Good thing I'm such a bastion of patience, calm, and forbearance. Though, truth be told, I talk to baby girl all the time, demonstrating with infallible proofs the benefits of coming out.
For starters, she doesn't appear to understand that her lease is up. I'd post an eviction notice, but most states require 30 days of notice and I don't want her to think she's got another month.
Also, there are the obvious benefits that come with having two servants to care for your every need. Granted, we expect a return on that investment of our time and energy with interest in the form of lawns mowed, rooms cleaned, dishes done, and catering to our every dodgy whim in old age. But that's years down the road.
And lest we forget, there's all the fun that inevitably comes with hanging out with Janine and me. Such a deal!
Now I understand that she gets a rough start: constricted, pushed, and dragged from her warm, comfy, temperature-controlled, semi-weightless environment into bright lights, loud noises, and temperature fluctuations with only her screams and uselessly flailing limbs to communicate. But after all that it's not too bad. But the message doesn't seem to be sinking in. Yet. She can't stay in there forever. But I'm... I mean, Janine's... tired of waiting. God, give us patience. And we need it now.
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5 comments:
I am afraid that if your baby girl was able to read your blog she may just stay in there... Cheer up, go for a long, labor inducing, shortness of breath, can't-make-it-home-without-the-car walk in the crisp autumn air... do things married people do (wink, wink...)... she will come when it is her time to say "hello"... for now you could pass the time writing her a letter about how much you anticipated her arrival and then save it to give to her on her 16th birthday... you could be filling out the baby book and answering all the goofy questions about what popcorn and an movie cost the year she was born... stop obsessing... thing pot of watched water never boils... SHE WILL COME! Said with all the love and affection a quiet, meek and un-opinionated sister could muster. (I couldn't help but attempt to keep up with the paradoxically themed blog...)
Just think of it this way: baby girl will be in your arms in less than 2 weeks, guaranteed. 2 weeks aint nothin :)
Hang in there! She'll be here before you know it. My neighbor swears by drinking a glass of beer to make things hurry along. Maybe rootbeer would have the same effect :) We'll keep praying for you guys!
You should sign up for a marathon, all the walking necessary and an ambulance on the scene to boot!
Oh Janine I have to laugh. When I was pregnant with Annika it was so hot and I was SO sick of being pregnant. I told everyone in my office, about 350 people, I was evicting my child. I even went to the point of putting a post it on my stomach she was to be out on the 15th of July. I had a few projects I did not want to complete and she was one way to get out of them. She paid no mind to my notices buy when the doctor gave her the eviction notice two days before her due date she listened. As for Arianna I evicted her and told the doctors they were going to do it before the end of the year. To my suprise Arianna got the last laugh. I couldn't deduct her off of my income taxes since I had only had her for 24 hours and 23 minutes of 2006.
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